The Pressure of Finding The One - #Making the Most of Being Single.

I was that cliche girl who daydreamed of being married to the love of her life someday, but I was such an expert in hiding this particular distraction. My girlfriends swore I was weird and just couldn't figure out why I chose to chase my preoccupation with mapping out a career rather than gawk at hot guys around. 

Yes, I did dream of my first kiss and wondered many a times what form true love would take. I wrote poetry when no one was watching and fancied myself being a loving and devoted partner in my relationship. I guess your question to me will be why I painstakingly projected an image of aversion to guys or relationships. 

The answer can be found in the pressure of "finding the one". 

I choose NOT to be bullied by relentless pressure of society, peers, friends or family in "finding the One".  My projected aversion to relationships was a strategy to save face in the midst of the chaotic hullabaloo single people are faced with when pressure is asserted by loved ones.  My thought process was this -"If I act like I don't care about my love life, then people will let me be me and eventually come to accept my focus on career." I guess it's best to say at this point that life has taught me this plan never works.  (If you are lucky you will be labeled a homosexual and if you are unlucky you will be labeled as stuck up/ a snob).

As if the pressure isn't enough, single individuals are expected to choose someone with an excellent RESUME after waiting for so long. Your friends do a survey on his/her HOTNESS level, your family considers the size of his/her POCKET, your peers look at his/her BACKGROUND and how EXPOSED he/she is, while the society measure his RELEVANCE and STATUS in society.

Of course if you resist pressure and fail to secure the one within a specified period, the stigma sets in and you are subtly labeled as "not good enough", "broke", "no game", "beautiful outside/ugly inside", 'wicked", "has a temper", "stuck up" or "gay". 

I went with a celeb friend for an interview recently for a TV show. The host asked my friend why she was still single (as if it was any of her business), she pointed at my friend's fancy ring and asked if her man gave it to her; the host then proceeded to ask what my friend thought about the legalization of gay marriage in the US. Oh how rude!!!

We will be discussing #Makingthemostofbeingsingle on the upcoming episode of Girlfriends On Radio. 

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Please share your comment, tweet and let me know your experience in the pressure department. :) 

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He sets the solitary in families

Psalms 68:6

God settles the solitary in a home;

he leads out the prisoners to prosperity...

What bliss family brings! It's comforting to have people who love and accept you for who you are. Of course, there are occasional squabbles and misundertandings but after all has been said and done... as the cliche goes "blood is thicker than water".

God is in the business of comforting us with relationships that add value to our lives. No man is created to be an island. God said "it is not good for man to be alone, I will create a helpmeet suitable for him". The bible says "Two are better than one..." and "two shall put ten thousand to flight". A can do attitude is wonderful but eventually everyone needs companionship; that special person/ people who get you. 

One thing is true in my life... Those days which seem so bleak and gloomy always get lit up once a member of my family calls. They either have jokes to tell, words of comfort, or even say annoying things  which is out of place but out of love. 

Take time out and invest in these divine relationships and appreciate this wonderful gift from God. As the saying goes - "You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family". 

Love

Taiwo